I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
