Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The struggles of a small town man whore
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
