he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
