batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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