real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
BRING THE BAGELS
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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