It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm eating all of the evidence.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
