So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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