he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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