He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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