I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
kristin has been a bad kristin
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
