I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
