last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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