you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
