Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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