Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
