I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
