She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
