do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
