So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
