Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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