Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize