Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
