That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
