you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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