My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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