i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
