we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
