i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize