No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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