So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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