shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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