He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
