Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.

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(352): View more from Florida

I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form

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(952): View more from Minnesota

You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.

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(425): View more from Washington

Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.

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(818): View more from California

I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.

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(408): View more from California

Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".

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