So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Randomize