A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I think I just sharted jello shots
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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