it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
