Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
