Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
