Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
