Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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