Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
