Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
