I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
