I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
