Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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