Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
My ass is underappreciated
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
