So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
