i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
