rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
