what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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