Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
