I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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