He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
