Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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