My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
