"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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