he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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