You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
