Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So vagazzling was a success
wow bdsm is so cute
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
