Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
