Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
