I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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