I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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