Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
