how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
